A Matter of Trust
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Well, for about 6 years now, Lauren and I have been talking about how we are going to go sky diving together when she turns 18. (Actually, Dennae was always part of that but for some reason she has been distracted lately). I have to admit, in the back of my mind I kind of hoped she had forgotten, but she did not. Not long after school started Lauren started to remind me of our plan.
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When she was home from college for the Christmas holidays she mentioned it again, and I knew she meant it. We weren't able to make arrangements prior to her return to Boston, so I was off the hook until Spring Break. But, I promised her I'd make the arrangements and we would go when she came home. It seemed like a long time away, so I made the arrangements and just sort of filed it away in my brain.
Over the next couple of months, as I thought of it from time to time, I would vascilate from being excited to being really nervous. All I knew was my 19 year old daughter wanted to go on an adventure and she wanted to do it with me. There would be no way I would miss out on that! So, I kept mustering up my courage and looked forward to sharing the experience with Lauren.
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Then the fatefull day arrived. It was hard to sleep the night before. It is really hard to describe exactly what I was feeling: Yeah, honestly, a little nervous, also really excited, but also very honored that this young lady would want to share this experience with her Dad. I tried to keep my mind off of what we were planning to do as we drove down to Casa Grande Airport that morning. It was almost like a dream the whole time.
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When it came time to go and I was paired up with my instructor, Paul, I felt really at peace. This guy has done this thousands of times. He really enjoys himself. He is not going to let anything happen. As we climbed to altitude in the little plane, I was fully enjoying the experience. I had this indescribable peace in trusting that Paul was going to do this right. After all, his life was on the line along with mine.
The peace lasted right up to the moment when Lauren scooted over to start her jump. Then, I looked at her hanging out of the plane and I thought: Oh my gosh, my baby is jumping out of an airplane!
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I reached over to squeze her leg before she jumped, and before my hand got there she was gone. Then, we started to get in postion for my turn. The peace and trust returned. It is very hard to describe how I felt. It was a total dependence like I have not felt before. I was glad I didn't have to remember much other than "arch your back". It was all in Paul's hands.
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I have been thinking a lot about that the past couple of weeks. Here was a guy I didn't even know a couple of hours earlier. He was a falable human being. He didn't really care much about me. He did five or six jumps the day before; five or six that day; and the same number the next. Yet, I developed, a level of trust and confidence in him and a feeling of dependence that I have not experienced with anyone before.
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So, I have a Father, God, who loves me infinitely and unconditionally. He cares about me to the point where all the hairs of my head are numbered [ a bit easier for Him than it was when I was younger :) ]. He is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnicient. He created me and knew me in my mothers whomb. He knows how many days I will spend on this Earth. So, do I truly trust Him, the way I trusted Paul, my dive master? I mean do I REALLY trust Him? When I go through a trial, do I "count it all joy", because I know He is in control and is working it for my good? Seriously?
Trust in the Lord always, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5,6
